How to Set Healthy Boundaries — MakeItUltra™

Written by Eric C., MA., PhD-c | Clinical Psychology Audio version available | Click here “I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker 1. Identify current boundary crossers The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person […]

via How to Set Healthy Boundaries — MakeItUltra™

Feeling anxious?


As someone who has struggled with anxious feelings for over 10 years and not being influenced by these thoughts prior to this, I find it frustrating to continue to have to manage both anxious thoughts and feelings from time to time.

 

ARRRGH!! When these feelings present themselves what can I do?

 

I generally find the following help to improve my state:-

-Take the time to look at something beautiful – really notice and enjoy the moment…

-Eat a balanced, healthy diet

-Walk in the countryside and connect with nature

-Keeping active – running, cycling, swimming

-Go to bed at a regular time, avoiding screen time before bed and prioritise sleep

-Connect with people who are aware of  my challenges and empathetic, not dismissive

-Make time for meditation and/ or relaxation

-Socialise with family and friends in a familiar situation

 

However when there are different situations, where these routines and habits are less able to be incorporated into daily life, or extra factors need to be accommodated this can be much more difficult.

Emotional challenges and feeling stressed can exacerbate the anxious feelings, so pacing and planning for time out to adapt and acclimatise to challenges are essential.

My primary tip!

Take time to accept my feelings and not be so hard on myself!

Music’s stress relieving benefits.

“Music can change the way you breathe, so it can help your brain calm down”, says Dr. Gail Gross a nationally recognized expert, author, and educator on relationships, family development, education and behavior. Dr. Gross along with others notes the importance of having a great musical selection and conscious listening. Lets face it, for hundreds […]

via Music Does The Body Good! — Mental Health is Everywhere

How To Spot Deception

Always helpful in therapy… and in everyday life!

MakeItUltra™

Written by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate

Audio version available | Click here


“He who has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” ~Sigmund Freud

In my profession it is important to know if someone is lying to me or more importantly to themselves. Whether it is a small lie or a malicious lie, everyone lies at some point. Research shows that on average, people lie 10 times per day. Many people lie to keep the peace or to inflate their ego. Others might lie because they are pathological liars or have a personality disorder.

Lying appears to be part of our genetic makeup. It develops early in children and peaks in adolescence when a person begins to establish their identity and…

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Menopause

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I never considered myself a hormonal person and yet on turning 40, after a period of sustained stress and ill health, I developed over the following years many of the symptoms on the list above.

Prior to being diagnosed as coeliac in my late 30’s I had always been healthy and relatively stable in attitude – how was I now on this emotional rollercoaster?

I had experienced anxiety during my relationship breakdown and was unsettled to find similar symptoms had become a bit of a feature in my life. It seemed to take much of my energy to manage feelings and continue to function.

In a busy stage of life with young children, I put the tiredness, poor memory and anxious thoughts down to the juggling challenges of parenthood, particularly as a single parent.

 I spent months trying establish what was happening within my body to cause me to feel like I did…

With increased night sweats and mood swings I tried all kinds of dietary and alternative supplements, spoke to friends, colleagues, read, googled and sought support from my Gp. After some blood tests I was a bit shocked, but relieved, to be diagnosed as menopausal. 

The concept was okay, I’d had children, but the symptons were much more tricky!

Heading into the menopause early, I was really unprepared! Why was this happening after sailing relatively unscathed through puberty and into adulthood? 

After a year or so of struggling with a variety of symptoms and little relief HRT was seriously discussed by my Gp. With teenagehood looming, and my increased irritability I was rapidly running out of options. Being a long way off fifty the benefits outweighed the negatives as these were hormones my body ideally should still have. Trying a couple of different brands and doses finally found the combination which improved many of my symptoms.

Still continuing on HRT today, anxiety is the main one which continues to raise its head from time to time! 

When you don’t have anxiety you can’t imagine what it is like so I’d have weeks of being okay and between bouts it seems irrational and unbelievable it is so debilitating. So you push on…

I have since read much around anxiety, the menopause, coeliac disease, the human brain and hormones, whilst the  challenges continue. The role of hormones and the fine balance between these are well demonstrated as below. 

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With several factors unbalancing your health, it makes sense it will take some time to even begin to restore some normality. This model helps explain the complexity and the delicate balancing interplay of several feel good chemicals which affect your mood.

I’ve found trying to understand what is happening in my body and mind has helped me to manage symptoms over time. However self acceptance has been one of the biggest challenges!

 

Health & happiness

Being healthy is a combination of physical well being, emotional resilience and psychological well being – no mean feat at any age!

We all have periods of life where any one of these aspects of feeling healthy can be challenged. Periods of change and upheaval can create competing priorities and we can loose sight of what we need as an individual to feel well. This wellness can then affect our feelings of happiness.

Good health is a balancing act and requires us to prioritise ourselves!!

Take time today, to focus on what being healthy means to you and start to make it happen.

This may be around:-

dietary patterns

habits control

time to exercise

mood influencers

connecting with others

work patterns

feeling accomplished

contributing to society

hobbies/interests

time for ourselves

developing gratitude

Often many of these are inter related and may need exploring to unpick what needs to and can change.

Make yourself a priority today!

Positive psychology & wellbeing

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There is a growing recognition of the impact our mental health has on our sense of well being.

The mind body connection!

How we think, feel and behave affects how our body functions.

If you are caught in a negative pattern of thinking, over time this will impact on your physical well being. This is why positive thought is so important in improving our outcome for good health.

Mental health affects our physical health.

Fine when you are in a good, positive place – what if your not!!

The first step of changing how we perform is recognition that we could do something different.

It may not feel like it, but our actions are our choices!?

Changing thoughts, feelings and actions can be very difficult to do, but by having a vision of how things could be different is the start of the process.

Support

to take small steps towards this new way of being is essential.

In my work as an Integrated therapist I help clients to identify their new intention and set goals using NLP, Psycho therapeutic coaching and possibly Hypnotherapy.

The power of the mind is amazing, use it to your full advantage.